Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
