The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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