Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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