Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
