idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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