You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
