Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
well I can't set my house on fire every night
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
