Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
