Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
