have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
