so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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