so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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