I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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