i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
