A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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