so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
