I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
