Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
