hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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