dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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