i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
