I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
