i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I currently don't understand fingers.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
