So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
