I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
