What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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