I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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