The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
