so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Drunk is not a location!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
