Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
