it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
