you're like a bully in the Christmas story
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
