This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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