Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
