I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
