If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
