Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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