So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
