Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Fuck appropriateness.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
