it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I didn't notice because vodka
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
