well you can't waste a boner
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
