i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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