I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
