To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
where are you?
Hypothermia
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
