what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
