It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
