margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
