people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
