Screwed.edu
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
