don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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