Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
