How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
did i just pee glitter
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
